Attention
Clouds in the distance
In the field filled with stubble
Some patches of ice
Before setting off for work
He scrapes the car windows clear
Time to get in gear,
It will be a busy day
There is lots to do
The building construction crew
Balancing on the high beams
She's amazed, it seems
He always knows what to say
To show he loves her
A gift of a new sweater
Days before the first cold breeze
The bright sun deceives,
It's lacking a basic warmth,
The November air
"Please do not bother, and spare
Me all your lame excuses."
He just refuses
To notice things like blossoms
On the apple tree
Moonlight, a common beauty,
Windows rattle in the wind
It happened again,
A dream of freedom and peace
It seemed very real
They partake of a fine meal,
A gathering of old friends
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7 comments:
I am studying renga and am on the verge of completing a 36 renga I started 36 days ago. One verse a day.
The only part of your renga I didn't care for was the 3rd verse. Mainly it lacks imagery. Otherwise a fine job.
Ken Wanamaker
Dear Ken:
My computer has crashed so I have limited access until I get a new one. That's the reason for my slow response to your kind post.
I sense what you mean about Verse 3; I think you are right. On the other hand, I don't think it's fatal to the flow of the Renga.
I would be interested in reading your Kasen when it is finished.
Thanks again for posting your comment.
Best wishes,
Jim
Thanks for responding in kind. I think I had bitten off a lot with a 36 verse Renga. I will look it over and try to make some minor revisions. Then I will make arrangement to either post it or send it along by email.(prolly best because it is very long) The challenge was not making to one long continuing narrative.
Ken
Hi Ken:
The 37 Verse Kasen can be daunting. Just think, the standard used to be 100 Verses! Amazing.
The non-narrative nature of Renga is accomplished by focusing on "shift". When I have the time, and a new computer, I'll try to post something about that topic.
I look forward to reading your Renga.
Thanks,
Jim
I plan, now that the exuberance of the holiday season is over, to work on it this week. Nothing major. Just the small kinks. I don't want to alter the tone too much. Will let you know when I am ready to share.
Ken
Jim,
Yesterday I opened a blog account. Basically it is to post work in progress and not only short form but anything I may be working on. I include the link and hope to post the solo renga in the coming days. Meantime...two short-form versions.
Ken Wanamaker
http://kenw54.blogspot.com/
My solo Renga Autumn Moon is now posted at:
http://kenw54.blogspot.com/
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